Uncle Northcott’s Movie Reviews

Spiderman is a hermaphrodite! Thats the only explanation I have for Spiderman 3. Peter Parker had so many mood swings in this thing that he must be pregnant. Crying, begging for help, dancing, all the classic symtoms. A hormonal imbalance was in effect. I know some insects can reproduce alone so I think the spider that bit Parker gave him that ability. Way long at 2 1/2 hrs the film still was way cluttered. 3 bad guys =too many. All I wanted to see was Venom but they did to him the same thing that was done to Darth Maul. Little screen time, then dead. I waited years to see Venom and Bane from Batman then both were ruined. Everytime Venom showed up, his face would peel back to show that 70s show guy! Scary! Wow I hope he wont throw his pocket protector at me. 70s show guy, moron from Wings,Freeks and Geeks Franco and the effeminate Toby Maguire having a slap & tickle riot. This is what happens when a director makes a acton movie for critics and not for fans. On a superhero sidenote Superman returns starts on Cinemax saturday. If you have insomnia then this is your lucky day. Stuporman returns and he brings comas with him. YEA!!