Dont be fooled kind reader this is an animated film not a live action movie. The actors wore leotards with green balls on them so that computers could track their movements and animate their characters. I was covered in green balls once and I strongly recommend that you stay away from any leprosy orgy. Anyway this is an entertainng sword and sandal epic. Ray Winstone plays Beowulf, a hero who comes to save Anthony Hopkins kingdom from a monster. The monster is Grendel, played by Crispen Glover who has super sensitive hearing so that everytime the townsfolk have a drunken party Grendels ears hurt so much he goes on a rampage. Basically Grendel just wants his neighbors to keep it down. Lots o’ good mayhem ensues but I coulden’t understand a word Grendel says. He needs subtitles. Just like Crispen. After Beowulf dispatches Grendel he runs ino Grendels mom played by Angelina Jolie. Beowulf makes a deal with the sea slut that he soon regrets. I know what you are thinking, no Jolie diden’t adopt Grendel from some third world cesspool. Beowulf ends up having a climatic battle with a really cool dragon in one of the better fight/chase scenes You’ll ever see. The animation works really well in the frantic fight scenes, but in the quieter, human interaction scenes the people look waxy and a little off. I enjoyed Beowulf and give it 3 stars out of 1,000. No wait thats not right, I’m bad at math and astronomy. Well just go see it. In 3D. Next: I Am Legend

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