Uncle Northcott’s Movie Reviews

Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank You for coming on this sad occasion. Would everyone please rise, Gentlemen remove your hats and lets have a moment of silence for the dear departed X-Files. Its passed away and should have a closed casket funeral. A closed theater would be a better choice. The X-Files were, at one time, a giant of creativity in its first 7 years. It then sputtered to an end in seasons 8-9. The alien mythology was muddled and the overall writing had gone south, so after 1 bad movie the show should have gone into eternal rest and all us Philes could remember the good times. Genius episodes like “Humbug”, “Jose Chung”, ” Clyde Bruckman”, “Bad Blood” Etc. These always bring a smile to my face. Then, like a zombie in a George Romero film, the X-Files are again stalking the Earth. After almost a decade on the shelf and The Files now a distant memory comes “I Want to Believe.” It should be titled ” I Cant Believe this Dreck was Made.” Its not the worst movie ever, but like the most recent Indy Jones movie theres no point to it. These movies add nothing to their legacy, only tarnish them. Like a very average X-Files T.V. episode, Mulder & Scully have left the F.B.I. Scully is now a surgeon while Mulder is basically doing nothing. When an F.B.I Agent goes missing and the only lead the bureau has is a defrocked Priest who says he’s a psychic. The Agent in charge asks for Mulders help since He’s worked cases like this before. Soon others go missing and their in the middle of a seriel case. Scully, in the meantime, is trying to save a boy with a brain disease. The whole movie is about belief, hope, trust and never giving up. Fine, but at least be scary, fun, interesting or anything but this joyless dirge. This is badly written, illogical and when its at its supposedly most horrifying moment, its laughable. When I first heard about X-Files 2 the first thing I did was find out who wrote it. Uh oh its by Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. When series creator Carter was working on other projects he left The Files in Spotnitz less than capable hands. Spotnitz then did everything in his power to run the show into the ground. His scripts and choices of storylines were awful, and sadly nothings changed. I knew without seeing a single frame The X-Files 2 would be bad. So lets bow our heads. Lets shed a few tears and forget the sad ending of our dear friend and remember the good times we had with Mulder& Scully. Lets also pray that the X-Files Zombie never rises again. Its gone. Let it rest in peace. Goodbye my friend. Amen. Next: Step Brothers