Brendan Fraser STILL has a big head. After my brilliant piece of investigative journalism where I fearlessly exposed the “Fraser head” cover-up, you would think something would have been done by now. Soak the thing in ice water, use cgi effects or radical experimental plastic surgery maybe. Rest easy folks your intreped reporter will stay on this case (at great pesonal risk) as long as necessary. Or till his next movie. Or I get bored. Speaking of unnecessary, what the Sam Hill is Jet Li and the great Michelle Yeoh doing in this celluloid barfbag? The Chinese embassy should protest. Li and Yeoh have been in some of the best chop socky Asia has to offer. If their speaking Chinese and it looks like the movie cost $50 to make, its a keeper. I guess it was a good payday. Poor Michelle is in a Vin Diesel movie soon. First Fraser then Diesel. Wow that twosome will suck the talent out of anyone. Their both talent blackholes. I guess its not so bad for Jet since 75% of his screen time he’s hidden by cheeseball cgi as a dragon, mummy or something from “Where the Wild Things Are.” Good kids book by the way. In this the third (rhymes with turd coincidence? I think not) Mummy movie the O’Connells, played by Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello have retired to a home in jolly old England. Their 20 something son has quit collage to look for the Dragon Emperor so he can escape his parents shadow. After finding frozen Jet Li and his terra cotta soldiers, the O’Connells are asked to take a gemstone to ShangHai. The same stone some fanatic Chinese military types want so they can resurrect the undead Jet. Riveting stuff. After Jet wakes up, very cranky I might add, he heads to Shangri-la to become immortal. The O’Connells, with a couple of 3,000 year old mummy guardians and some Yeti give chase. Yes its so stupid my brain leaked out my ears and tried to make a break for it. This movie is nothing but loud, frantic bad cgi effects geared for pre-teens. Like Indy Jones and X-Files this is a sequel that doesn’t need to exist. All 3 are just a sad money grab that insults the first films. The only one that came out ok from this mess is the monkey hot Rachel Weisz. She played Frasers wife in the first two and was smart enough to pass on this. This is rated PG-13 and is a little under 2 hours. Not that it matters when your going to show good sense to avoid this. Next: Pineapple Express

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